Today was a big day for me. As I sat on the train preparing for my meeting, I tuned into one of my favorite songs of all time, Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major. I lost myself in the medley of strings and felt a calmness in spirit.
With all that was happening in my life, I needed a moment to reflect and feel my emotions. Life was moving and passing me up. I had been so absorbed on getting my career back on track after a few turbulent years of chaos and stress. I didn’t expect such a series of endless headaches and suffering. One day, I will share more and open the details of the last few years to you. Trust me, it has not been a walk in the park. I had to deal with so many issues and it seemed like I had to deal with everyone else’s issues. I justified and told myself it came with the territory. This is what I signed up for as a leader of a start-up company. I just didn’t expect it all to be something out of a suspenseful horror movie.
With all that has happened, I strongly believe it was another test that life has administered. Geez, I am getting sick of taking these tests. I am not in school anymore. I don’t own a pencil sharpener and forgot how to color in the bubble. Why can’t I get what I want now? Why can’t it all be over? Where is my happy place? Can I phone a friend and use a lifeline? I feel like I just hit “bankrupt” and lost all my potential winnings on Wheels of Fortune. Why do I have to suffer? As tired as I am of taking these tests, I know these tests serve their purpose. Every day is a struggle and a challenge to make the right decisions – to move my life along, to grow and become a better person. Every day is another series of tests. There is no end. There will never be. This is how life works. This is the “Laosy” life. It is not suppose to be easy. Anyone who thinks that, please show yourself and tell me your secret.
As I sit and listen to Pachelbel, visions of a waltz embrace me. I am gracefully dancing and enjoying the moment. It is my daughter’s wedding. I am giving her away to her groom. She is the most beautiful girl in the world. Her eyes full of love. Her hair glowing and sparkling like diamonds. Her smile radiating joy. As we waltz around the ballroom sprinkled with fairy dust, she looks at me and I know that life matters – that I had to continue to fight through my personal struggles and suffering. The days of pure elation is ahead and is waiting for me.
I need to remember to dance a “Laosy” waltz daily and enjoy every moment that life gives me. This is my “Laosy” advice to myself.